Английский разговорный шутя. 100 анекдотов на все случаи жизни Миловидов Виктор

Section 10:

2. 1. The hotel was all abuzz about the wedding.

2. The groom looked pretty feeble.

3. The feeling was that the wedding night might kill him.

4. The next morning, the bride came down the main staircase.

5. She finally managed to get to the counter.

6. The clerk looked really concerned.

7. You look like you've been wrestling an alligator.

3. 1-g, 2-d, 3-f, 4-e, 5-b, 6-c, 7-a.

4. 1-c, 2-f, 3-d, 4-h, 5-l, 6-b, 7-j, 8-1, 9-k, 10-a, 11-g, 12-e.

5. 1. The groom looked pretty feeble.

2. The wedding night might kill him.

3. But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride slowly came down the staircase, hanging onto the bannister.

4. The clerk looked really concerned.

5. You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!

6. 1. A small tourist hotel has been waiting for the newly married since early in the morning.

2. They have come to the conclusion about their age only after a long discussion.

3. The bride had been preparing for the wedding night for about two hours, and when she was ready, the groom had already fallen asleep.

4. She has been wrestling with this crocodile since midnight.

5. I've been saving up money in the bank for twenty five years, and I have already saved up about ten bucks.

Section 11:

2. 1. They celebrated their first night together.

2. What do newlyweds do all night long?

3. The groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel there.

4. He asks the bride to please bring a towel.

5. He is exposing his body for the first time.

6. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway they stopped.

7. She asked shyly, «What's THAT?»

3. True: 1, 3, 4. False: 2, 5, 6.

4. 1-Е, 2-h, 3-c, 4-k, 5-f, 6-b, 7-j, 8-g, 9-1, 10-a, 11-d.

5. 1. They were doing that all night long, time and time again.

2. He emerged from the shower but found no towel.

3. She saw all of him well.

4. Her eyes went up and down, and at about midway they stopped.

5. She asked shyly.

6. Is that all we have left?

6. 1. I asked her when she had been married.

2. He said they had celebrated their first night together.

3. He whispered that they were doing what newlyweds always did.

4. The groom said he would go into the bathroom.

5. He asked her to bring a towel from the bedroom.

6. She wanted to know where he was.

7. He wondered why she was staring at him in such a way.

8. He said that was what they had so much fun with the night before.

9. And she asked in despair if that was all they had left.

7. 1. When the young couple were getting married, they decided they would celebrate their first night together.

2. He said that he would go to the bathroom in the morning.

3. Morning came and the groom went into the bathroom but found no towel there.

4. When she got to the bathroom door, he had already opened it from inside.

5. She said that was all that they had left.

Section 12:

2. 1. Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon.

2. His toes were all twisted and discolored.

3. What happened to your feet?

4. I had a childhood disease called tolio.

5. It only affects the toes.

6. He removed his pants and revealed a pair of knees.

3. 1-C, 2-B, 3-D, 4-A, 5-E.

4. 1-f, 2-c, 3-d, 4-h, 5-b, 6-g, 7-Е, 8-А.

5. 1. He took off his shoes and socks.

2. What happened to your toes?

3. I had a childhood disease called measles.

4. He revealed an awful looking pair of knees.

5. It only affects the knees.

6. His wife gasped and said, «Don't tell me, you also had smallpox!»

6. 1. Two newlyweds were invited to their friend's house to spend the honeymoon here last year.

2. Just you wait! The shoes will be taken off in a moment.

3. The socks are being dried at present.

4. My toes are twisted because of the disease I had in childhood.

5. At last the pants have been removed.

6. His knees were definitely affected by polio.

7. 1. His wife wanted to know what had happened to his feet.

2. He told her he had had a childhood disease called tolio.

3. She asked if he meant polio.

4. She wanted to know what had happened to his knees.

5. He said he had also had kneesles.

6. She asked if he was having anything then.

7. He said it only affected the knees.

8. She asked not to tell her that he had also had smallcox.

8. 1. toe,

2. disease,

3. remove,

4. reveal,

5. amazement,

6. healthy,

7. wrestle,

8. groan,

9. bride,

10. awful.

Section 13:

2. 1. A man and his wife are visiting the local zoo.

2. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting dress.

3. They walk through the ape exhibit.

4. The gorilla is obviously excited at seeing the lady.

5. The man suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow.

6. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall.

7. This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy.

3. True: 2, 3. False: 1, 4, 5, 6.

4. 1-D, 2-G, 3-C, 4-1, 5-H, 6-L, 7-A, 8-K, 9-B, 10-E, 11-J, 12-F.

5. 1. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting dress, sleeveless, with straps.

2. The gorilla begins to go ape.

3. The gorilla is obviously excited at seeing the lady in the pink dress.

4. The husband suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow.

5. He is making noises that would wake the dead.

6. The gorilla is just about to tear the bars down.

7. He quickly grabs her and flings into the cage.

6. 1. The man insisted that his wife wear a cute, loose-fitting dress.

2. It is imperative that we walk through the ape exhibit.

3. The husband proposed that his wife tease the poor fellow.

4. Then the husband urged her wife to let one of her straps fall.

5. It is necessary to tear the bars down.

6. It is important that you lift your dress up your thighs.

7. It was a recommendation that you grab your wife and fling her into the cage.

7. 1. I want you to visit the local zoo.

2. I expect you to wear this cute dress.

3. Don't make him go ape.

4. I saw him jumping up on the bars.

5. They heard the gorilla grunt and pound his chest with his free hand.

6. I watched her wiggling her bottom.

7. The husband noticed the ape being excited, and wanted his wife to tease the poor fellow even more.

8. 1. The local zoo is being visited by a man and his wife.

2. His chest is pounded with his free hand.

3. The gorilla is obviously excited by the pretty lady in the pink dress.

4. The dead would be woken by the noises.

5. The bars are being torn down by the gorilla.

6. Her dress has been lifted up her thighs.

7. The poor gorilla is driven absolutely crazy.

8. The wife is grabbed and flung in with the gorilla by her husband.

Section 14:

2. 1. a husband said to his wife, «i invited a friend home for supper.»

2. Are you crazy?

3. The house is a mess.

4. All the dishes are dirty.

5. I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal.

6. Why did you invite a friend for supper?

7. The poor fool is thinking about getting married.

3. 1-d, 2-c, 3-b, 4-e, 5-a.

4. 1-d, 2-c, 3-f, 4-b, 5-h, 6-g, 7-Е, 8-А.

5. 1. I invited a friend home for supper.

2. Are you crazy?

3. I didn't go shopping.

4. I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal.

5. The poor fool is thinking about getting married.

6. 1. Instead of going to the restaurant with a friend he invited him home for supper.

2. She is talking to the husband now.

3. On coming home he went shopping.

4. I am fond of washing dishes.

5. He finished working after 6 o'clock.

6. He stopped eating and looked at the watch.

7. We are eating salad.

8. I am fond of shopping.

9. The man smoking a cigarette is my brother.

Section 15:

2. 1. Trying to avoid the little woman, he parks a block away.

2. He takes off his shoes, careful not to make a noise.

3. He quietly opens the door and tiptoes into the room.

4. He gets hit by a frying pan.

5. He tells the story to a friend at the local watering hole.

6. His best friend sadly shakes his head.

7. I go borrow my bud's Harley.

8. I take the Harley rat up on the porch.

3. true: 1, 3, 5, 6. false: 2, 4, 7.

4. 1-Е, 2-D, 3-1,4-B, 5-H, 6-J, 7-F, 8-A, 9-G, 10-C.

5. 1. He takes off his shoes as he walks up the stairs.

2. He quietly opens the door and tiptoes into the room.

3. He gets hit by a frying pan.

4. His best friend sadly shakes his head.

5. Now here's how I do it.

6. I take the Harley rat up on the porch.

7. I slam open the door and scream.

8. My wife is always asleep.

6. 1. Having got drunk, the guy came home real late.

2. Trying to avoid the little woman, he left his car a block away from his home.

3. Walking up the stairs, he tries his best not to make a noise.

4. Opening quietly the door and tiptoeing into the room, he gets hit by a frying pan.

5. Telling the story to a friend the next day at the local watering hole, he sees him sadly shake his head.

6. Taking the Harley rat up on the porch, I start screamin' and a cussin'.

7. Slamming open the door and screamin', he finds his wife always asleep.

7. 1. avoid,

2. tiptoe,

3. borrow,

4. local,

5. mess,

6. exhibit,

7. excitement,

8 fellow,

9. ape,

10. sleeveless.

Section 16:

2. 1. Two of the guys are talking about the amount of control they had over their wives.

2. The third guy remained quiet.

3. After a while one of the first two guys turned to the third one.

4. What sort of control do you have over your wife?

5. Just the other night my wife came to me.

6. The first two guys were amazed.

7. The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer.

3. 1-Е, 2-F, 3-C, 4-A, 5-B, 6-D, 7-G.

4. 1-D, 2-Е, 3-C, 4-F, 5-H, 6-G, 7-B, 8-A.

5. 1. There were three guys talking in the pub.

2. What is the amount of control you have over your wife?