Английский разговорный шутя. 100 анекдотов на все случаи жизни Миловидов Виктор

Section 20

Unselfish generosity

A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. «I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a five dollar bill to a bum.»

«You gave a bum five whole dollars? That's a lot of money to just give away. What did your husband say about it?»

"Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do. He said, 'Thanks.' "

Study the words and expressions given below:

to chat болтать

act акт; поступок

unselfish бескорыстный, неэгоистичный

generosity щедрость

bill банкнот

bum бродяга

next-door живущий по соседству

to start out начинать

five whole dollars разг. целых пять долларов

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. Who was the woman chatting with?

2. Why did she feel so good that day?

3. What sort of act did she commit?

4. How much did she give to a bum?

5. What did the neighbor think about this act of generosity?

2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. A woman was chatting with her _______ neighbor.

2. I started _______ this morning with an act of generosity.

3. I gave a bum five _______ dollars.

4. That's _______ of money to give away.

5. He thought it was the _______ thing to do.

3. Say if the statement is true or false:

1. A woman was chatting with her husband.

2. I started out this morning with an act of murder.

3. That's a lot of money to just give away.

4. What did your neighbor say about it?

5. Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do.

4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:

5. Translate from Russian into English:

1. Я сегодня чувствую себя действительно хорошо.

2. Я дала пятидолларовый банкнот бродяге.

3. Это много денег, чтобы вот так просто отдать.

4. Он думал, что это правильный поступок.

5. Он сказал: «Спасибо».

В слове unselfish использована одна из наиболее распространенных в английском языке моделей словообразования – с помощью отрицательного префикса. Таких префиксов существует несколько: de-, dis-, im-, in-, un-.

6. Проверьте свои навыки словообразования на основе данной модели. Образуйте слова с противоположным значением, используя отрицательные префиксы:

Исходная форма

moralize 

mobile

fame 

frequent

charge 

compose

comfort 

mortal

mature 

able

arrange 

balanced

patient 

generate

code 

certain

advantage

probable

appropriate

close

courage

audible

capable

compress

familiar

color

decision

conscious

do

moral

dependent

expected

believe

load

able

form

effective

7. Render the joke.

Section 21

75Th wedding anniversary

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, «Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all away. But… I must know, did he have a different father?»

The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she pauses for moment and then confesses.

«Yes. Yes, he did.»

The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks, «Who?.. Who was he? Who was the father?»

Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband.

Then, finally, she says, «You.»

Study the words and expressions given below:

elegant элегантный, торжественный

anniversary годовщина

to lean склоняться (к кому-л.)

forward вперед

soft мягкий; тихий

to bother беспокоить

tenth десятый

to assure уверять

wonderful чудесный

experience опыт, переживание

to drop ронять, опускать

to pause делать паузу

to shake трясти, сотрясать

reality действительность

to admit признавать

to hit ударять, бить

hard трудно, тяжело

to expect ожидать

tear слеза

to muster собираться)

I could have ever hoped for (на что) я когда-либо мог надеяться

the rest of остаток, остальные

to drop one's head опускать голову

to muster the courage собраться с духом

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. How many years have the couple been living together?

2. What had always bothered the old man?

3. What did he think about their marriage in general?

4. What did he want to know for sure?

5. Why did the woman drop her head unable to look into her husband's eye?

6. How many children of the family had a different father?

2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. A very elderly _______ is having.

2. The old man leans _______ to his wife.

3. It has always _______ me.

4. Our tenth child never looked like _______ of our children.

5. I want to _______ you this has been the most wonderful experience.

6. The wife _______ her head, unable to look up.

7. The old man is very _______.

8. With a _______ in his eye he asks, «Who?»

3. Match the two parts of the sentences:

4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:

5. Translate from Russian into English:

1. Пара празднует 75-летнюю годовщину своей свадьбы.

2. Дорогая, есть кое-что, о чем я хочу спросить тебя.

3. Это было самое чудесное переживание из тех, на которые я мог когда-либо надеяться.

4. Твой ответ не изменит этого (не заберет это прочь).

5. У него был другой отец?

6. Жена опускает голову.

7. Она медлит мгновение, а потом признается.

8. Реальность того, в чем признается его жена, наносит ему сильный удар.

9. Кто был его отцом?

В тексте встречаются прилагательные в двух различных степенях сравнения – сравнительной и превосходной: It has been the most wonderful experience… The reality hit him harder than…

Проверьте, как вы владеете навыками использования степеней сравнения прилагательных. При необходимости обратитесь к грамматическому комментарию (раздел 23).

6. Translate from Russian into English:

1. Муж был старше жены на пять лет.

2. Это был в высшей степени элегантный обед.

3. Наш десятый ребенок гораздо выше, чем первый.

4. Его голова (brains) работает лучше, чем у других детей.

5. Он – лучший в семье.

6. Это было самое чудесное переживание в моей жизни.

7. Он был самым непослушным (naughty) из всех детей, когда был маленьким.

8. Слеза на правом глазу намного больше, чем слеза на левом.

9. Ты гораздо глупее (stupid), чем отец остальных детей.

7. Fill in the blanks with prepositions where necessary:

1. A very elderly couple is sitting _______ a restaurant.

2. The old man says softlyh _______ is wife, «Dear, take some _______ this salad.»

3. Our tenth child never quite looked like the rest _______ our children.

4. These years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped _______.

5. She is unable to look her husband _______ the eye.

6. The wife paused _______ a moment and then confessed.

7. The old man is very shaken _______ the reality what his wife admitted.

8. With a tear _______ his eye he asks, «Who?»

9. She said nothing _______ first, and then she told the truth _______ her husband.

8. Find English equivalents to the Russian words in the scanword:

1. (е… ) элегантный, 2. (b… ) беспокоить, 3. (s… ) трясти, сотрясать, 4. (p… ) свойство, качество, 5. (p… ) драгоценный, 6. (w… ) богатство, состояние, 7. (d… ) плотный, 8. (s… ) образец, 9. (d…) разрушаться, разлагаться, 10. (i…) доход.

9. Render the joke.

Section 22

The mistress

A married couple was enjoying a dinner out when a statuesque brunette walked over to their table, exchanged warm greetings with the husband, and walked off.

«Who was that?» the wife demanded.

«If you must know,» the husband replied, «that was my mistress.»

«Your mistress? That's it! I want a divorce!» the wife fumed.

The husband looked her straight in the eye and said, «Are you sure you want to give up our big house in the suburbs, your Mercedes, your furs, your jewelry, and our vacation home in Mexico?»

For a long time they continued dining in silence. Finally, the woman nudged her husband and said, «Isn't that Howard over there? Who's he with?»

«That's HIS mistress,» her husband replied.

«Oh,» she said, taking a bite of dessert. «Ours is much cuter.»

Study the words and expressions given below:

to enjoy наслаждаться, получать удовольствие

statuesque статный, фигуристый

brunette брюнетка

to exchange обмениваться

warm теплый

greetings приветствия

to demand требовать; спрашивать

mistress любовница

divorce развод

to fume перен. кипятиться, возмущаться

straight прямо

to give up бросать, отказываться